REJECTION IS GOD'S PROTECTION
Wow... It's been over 2 weeks or longer since I have posted a weblog.. What has been going on with me in the past month? A lot!!! I nearly relapsed... I got robbed... I went through the challenges of people pleasing and learning to be friends with someone that I was extremely physically attracted to. Lastly, I have been dealing with owning my part in encounters with one other person regarding NOT loaning money to people. At least not giving money to people when I don't have it to give.
So, what should I tackle first? What is going on right now? The time is 8:20 PM. I am currently at work!!! Yes, almost 12 hours later and I am still at work... Overtime!!! :-) What am I missing though? My recovery meeting. What else am I going to miss? My therapy appointment... What else? Dinner with my friend "D." Darn! I am kinda bummed about that, but oh my gosh.. talk about financial blessings that I need!!! I move into gratitude for this! So, where am I working? I am currently the front desk person for the Men's Wellness Center. Yes, a Men's Wellness Center for guys to get tested for Hepatitis, Sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and learn more about their overall health. Also, the MWC is offering vaccination for Hep A & B. This is a very exciting service! The services are available in the evening... There is more... ALL THESE SERVICES ARE "FREE!!!!" I am sooo very proud to be an integral part of this huge project!
Ok, what next? Oh yeah I was on the road to relapse last week and because I practiced step 3 and said a prayer and "simply"<--operative turned my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power, I was saved from relapse! My Higher Power knows me well... I am an extreme addict; therefore, there needs to be extreme measures taken to handle me. What was the price? $130.00. I got robbed!!! Oh my gosh! I am bummed that I don't have time to blog about it. I will when I have some downtime and a computer at my home so I may blog at my leisure.
I just wanted to check in while I have an opportunity. We saw our second patient in 2 weeks... Hopefully things will ramp up with time...
QUALITY PROBLEMS
My webmaster (that sounds almost kinky) sent me a message on my phone commenting that I haven't blogged in awhile and sent me good vibes as to whether I am doing well or not. I am. I will be speaking at the Van Ness Recovery House this Thursday to share my strength hope and experience with others. It is suggested that being of service is yet another way that will help keep me clean and sober. This is special because this house is the place where my journey in recovery started. That is back in May 19, 2003!!! That's over 1 year and 4 months ago. So, yes it works if I work it and it's been working cuz I have been working the program to the best of my ability. Things to be thankful for!!!
I finally picked up my pen last night for the first time since I left my sober living about a month ago to continue on with my fourth step! Boy was I like a flea on a frying pan! I had such a hard time focusing! It is not that hard just writing about my resentments and remembering the wreckage of my past with each piece that I added into my fourth step. There definitely is some deep seeded "DIS-EASE" in going through the process. I am proud to say that I did about 30-40 minutes worth of quality writing. That is progress! It surely is not perfection! Thank G.O.D. that this program does not call for perfection in working the steps! All of us would be out of luck!
What else... I finally got a bed with the financial help of my Mom. She paid for the bed ahead of time. It's a bit stiff. I am thinking of getting a mattress cover from ikea that will make the bed a bit more comfy. I am totally thankful for a bed! Having been on that aerobed really was not doing my back any good. I don't have to go through the ritual of blowing up the bed every evening.
My room is starting to look like a room with personality... It's becoming my home. I am also learning that I am responsible for taking care of myself and doing what needs to be done in self caring and self loving...
My boss just walked in so alas, I will have to finish blogging on another day... So much has gone on... It's a darn shame I have been unable to blog on-line. I continue to do so with pen and paper.
Here is a correspondence I composed this morning... Folks, let me know if this is unreasonable!
Dear "B" (my roomie),
Please inform the Landlord that if the bathtub faucet and the plug for the face washing sink is not repaired by October 31, 2004 that I will be submitting a one month notice to vacate the premise on November 1, 2004.
I believe that when I pay for the full portion of my rent due, that I receive the full benefits that I am paying for. I am not arguing anything. I just believe in getting what I pay for; if the landlord of the property does not believe in providing the best possible care for the rent that is being paid, then there is just a conflict of beliefs. Should this be the case, then I need to do what is necessary to best care for my needs.
If you need me to communicate with the Landlord personally, I will be more than happy to. Again, inform the landlord that I have requested for the bathtub faucet and the face washing sink plug to be repaired by October 31, 2004. Failure to satisfy this request will result in a written correspondence to vacate the premise by no later than November 31, 2004.
Thank you for forwarding this information to the landlord.
Sincerely,
Quoc Lam
