Quoc's Web Journal

GROWING PAINS vs. DYING PAINS

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile folks! Life is in session!!! There has been much that has been going on in my life... Someone broke it down for me really well... Kinda like what I did with my therapist whenever I would check in with him and feel overwhelm... He would do a checklist validating that my feelings are justified:

1) I am moving into my own home (studio) in about a week...
2) I will be living alone and my own for the first time ever!
3) I have been really busy with work... I along with my co-trainers successfully trained new HIV Testing Counselors on Client Centered Counseling skills... This was a first!
4) I am still pretty new to sobriety again eventhough I believe I am pretty much right back on the wagon again!
5) I have changed up a lot of my meetings and meeting new folks and adjusting to a new schedule.
6) I am still dealing with some feelings that arise from my parents passing away in the past year.
7) I am working on completing step 8 and will be preparing to start on actually making amends to people I have harmed (step 9).
8) I am really making progress in learning to set boundaries and take care of self and not people please so much.
9) I have been seriously contemplating and taking some steps to seek out jobs that pay more than I am currently getting paid... I am currently egregiously overworked, under-recognized, undercompensated and just really frustrated with the incredibly low morale of the Department. As I get more sober and start to love self, I am starting to find certain environments and certain behaviors unacceptable to me... Rather, I can choose to remove myself from people, places and situations that are unhealthy for me. I have been tolerating it and subjecting myself to these conditions... Again, I am thankful for these things in my life because these people, places, and situations are teaching me life lessons I wouldn't learn if I weren't in it.

The speaker from this past weekend said it so eloquently about what my focus is on... Is it on seeing the beauty of the growing pains that I have while in sobriety compared to the dyings pains that I was suffering from while I was in my addiction. The speaker also shared about the significance of staying sober one more day; that is so it opens the opportunity for the miracle to happen... I continue staying sober so that I can be there for the miracle to happen in my life and to be present for the miracle to happen in other people's lives.

Just checking in briefly... God there is sooo much life going on... I may be off-line from 2 - 3 weeks as I get everything set up in my studio such as turn on my gas/electric, get phone working, internet set up and getting settled into my home... I will be sure to take pictures and share with you when I get settled into my new home... It's a very very small studio, but it'll be all mine on a month to month basis! My prayer of having a place where I get to bake my own cookies has come true!!! I am sooo excited!!! I am sooo anxious!!! I will be living paycheck to paycheck with no room for emergencies nor any room for any trips or vacations in the near future... The pay off is that I will have a place of my own to experience independence like I have never before...

I would like to move only things I need and make it a clutter free home... God, please help me not recreate the home that I grew up in... Please help me create a home that I would be comfortable with inviting God, my parents, a date, friends and family to come and visit in... God help me...

I need help moving... If you are local and available on Saturday, August 12, 2006... I will be spending the day moving the bigger pieces of furniture into my new home... Basically it is a TV, full bed, two book cases, one trunk, little refrigerator, the table that I do my work on, and a bunch of boxes of stuff that I am hoping to continue to minimize as this week progresses... Please contact me if you can help.. If you don't have my phone number, please e-mail me for it... I need help. I am asking for it...

Thank you ahead of time for continuing to help me along my journey!!!

Quoc

posted by Quoc @ 1:11 AM              E-mail me!