Quoc's Web Journal

DOUBLE DIGITS!!!!

SOME OF THE LAM FAMILY POSES FOR A PICTURE AT COUSIN AMY'S GRADUATION... RIGHT TO LEFT IS: JUDY (BABY SIS), AUNT LYNN, ME (QUOC), & CHIN (SIS)




MY SIS CHIN AND I POSE FOR A PICTURE... WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALMOST 28 YEARS; WELL, SINCE SHE'S BEEN BORN! THAT'S ALMOST A 1/3 OF A CENTURY! GOD I FEEL OLD!




THE SUPERSTAR GRADUATE HERSELF FINALLY APPEARS TO POSE FOR PICTURES FOR HER VERY PROUD FAMILY MEMBERS!!! CONGRATULATIONS AMY! I AM SOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!! WE'RE ALL SOOO VERY PROUD OF YOU.



THE LAM'S AND MICOL (CHIN'S FIANCE) POSE FOR A FAMILY PICTURE WITH THE GRADUATE AMY!!! UNFORTUNATELY, WHEN THERE ARE TOO MANY CAMERAS POINTING AT YOU FROM DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS, EVERYONE IS NOT LOOKING AT THE SAME DIRECTION...



SITTING DOWN AFTER AN EVENING CELEBRATING AMY'S GRADUATION FROM HIGH SCHOOL... GO CLASS OF 2006!!!!


So, I guess I should be excited and happy... My sponsor and a couple other people called me yesterday to congratulate me on making double digit sobriety... "It's one of the milestones in sobriety..." It's interesting coming back for the 2nd time... I am hearing things that I didn't quite hear from other people when I first came around this time around... Guess my head is not as messed up as I was the first time around over three years ago... The main messages I have heard are something to the effect of: Don't beat myself up... I am loved... Be nice to myself... I am loved... I don't get to do this for the rest of my life... I get to do this for the rest of today... I am loved... There is much admiration for my courage... and I AM LOVED!!!!

Yayee!!! Thank you for your love!!!! As of right now, 1:00A, Thursday, June 22, 2006 I have 11 days going on 12 days when I reach 3P this afternoon... Another 13 hours... It's was about this time 12 days ago when I took my first hit and marked the end of my 3 year plus consecutive years of sobriety one day at a time... Since then, it has still been a day at a time... It's seems slow going and my head swims in "the rest of my life." Thank God my Sponsor reels my crazy insane back in and remind me that I need only be concerned about staying sober for the rest of today!

So, since I made it through this past weekend, I have been doing markedly better everyday... I have been praying everyday... I am praying like I mean it! I am changing my attitude... Instead of Grrrrr... or sparking up an ATTITUDE... I have put the two together to have GRRRRRATITUDE!!!

On Friday, June 16th, I got to show up with the rest of my family to cheer as my baby cousin Amy graduated from the High School class of 2006. We celebrated afterwards… I got to spend the night with my sister, her fiancé as well as my baby sister down in Bellflower. I was in a safe place especially when my head and body wanted to go out and have a good time getting high and having sex… Instead, I got to wake up Saturday morning to take my sis and her fiancé to the airport (they are visiting the fiance’s parents for Father’s day weekend as well as the fiance’s Mom’s birthday). I then returned home to take my baby sis with me shopping at Sam’s club… We bought some bare essentials which cost over $100!!! Ouch!!! It sucks being on a budget and making money that keeps me counting and tracking every penny I spend in order to have enough for rent, cell, landline, food, etc… I am thankful I have enough to pay for all that and have a little to spare to hang with my sis… We went and had sushi for lunch in Cerritos… Then I went home promising to return in the evening after my recovery meeting to spend the night with my sister and hang out with her on Sunday… I did exactly that and held to my commitment.

I spent the evening with my baby sis watching a comedy… Then we slept and awoke on Father’s day to go to chinatown for brunch… We had delicious chiu chau food. Then I went to get a haircut… We met up again and drove home… I got to ride along and give my sister guidance as she learned to drive in her car… Then I boldly taught her to drive stick shift… I believe she is gear one down! :o) I am sooo proud of her…. I am sooo honored that I got to show up for my sister and be there for her; to love her; support her; and not flake on her and make excuses for not being there because I was too busy getting high… What a huge gift of sobriety! We concluded the afternoon/early evening with buying some groceries that I used to cook our favorite tomato and beef stir fry for her… I then drove home with just enough time to go to a meeting… I went to the meeting and went fellowshipping with the boys. It felt a lot better at 8 days than just a week ago when I had a whopping 1 day!!!

I have made oodles of phone calls and received oodles of phone calls and sweet, supportive, loving voice messages… I have been met with some people who were judgemental, did not reach out and instead walked away from me because I don’t have a lot of time sobriety. I shared it with my sponsor who shared that my experience may have scared some people…. With having sobriety and working a great program, then relapsing… This scares some people. It was hard watching people turn away from me and shun me… Thankfully that makes up about 2 people out of the onslaught of people who have been nothing but loving, supportive, caring, compassionate and very very welcoming!

I finally received my new cell phone that I ordered from the 15th of June. It’s a very very sporty and tech packed cell phone… Basically I am completely at a loss as to how to use it! It took me 15 minutes to input my sponsor’s number in there correctly. This phone is a camera, cell phone, walkman, mp3 player, and much more all in one very compact 3.5 ounce casing. I’ll have some fun growing with this phone. I even purchased the Bluetooth technology allowing me to speak on the cell phone handsfree allowing me to drive much safer when I am on the road. Just in the past day, I’ve missed over 16 calls… I can’t wait to get all my 200+ contacts into my phone and start calling people in my support group…

Alas, enough of my babbling…. I need to go to sleep… I’ve spent the past 40 minutes typing away… I am thankful for all that I have… I am thankful for getting the opportunity to show up for life because I have stayed clean and sober one more day, just for today.

I see there are a lot of hits on this site… I am sooo very interested to see who all is reading this… I feel your vibes, but I don’t know your name… Care to share? I would love to know who y’all are! I already know you are very important in my life and an integral part of my sobriety, my support group, and active participants in my very very blessed life.

Send me a shout out!!! I AM SHOUTIN’ BACK! I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU!

***MUAH***

Quoc

posted by Quoc @ 12:46 AM              E-mail me!