WAITING TO GRADUATE?
Hey folks,Sorry I haven't been in touch... I am going to continue to affirm to give updates. As they say, inspiration knows no schedule. It pops up when it does. Alas, those few times it has popped up, I am either on the road, at work, or anywhere near a cpu with internet access nor did I have the time to sit and type in a blurb. What I am learning whilst in recovery is baby steps. So, I will take a moment to comment on an inspiring thought in meditation on my way to work.
I am placing certain parts of my life on hold in hopes that I will be prepared to engage in those activities as a result of completing the 12 steps of recovery. A few examples are intimate relations with others; dating; seeking other employment; and just living life outrageously. I walk with precaution and with reservation.
Something questioned this way of living this morning... It asked me why am I waiting to graduate from something such as the 12 steps of the program before being willing to receive blessings? The universe is ready to bless me in every moment; my door has to be open to receive all the blessings. With my attitude of "I am not ready yet" and "I am but a Jedi apprentice in training," I am indeed closing my life to the sunlight of the spirit and all the blessings that come therein. I am missing out on life when it presents itself because I am sending out energy that deflects those blessings.
Today, I pray and ask for God's help in doing the following:
1) for God to help open my eyes long enough to see the blessings coming my way and open the door to receive those blessings
2) for God to quiet my mind long enough to hear God's whispers in my heart
3) to realize that just for today, progress is my perfection; to love the progress that I have made today...
4) God to give me courage to complete the 12 steps (prayer day 11 of 45)
5) God to help me extend love and compassion to myself and those around me
6) God to help those still suffering (alcoholic and non-alcoholic alike) to get better
7) God to remove my fears of financial insecurity
8) God to help me see and act on the importance of taking care of my physical health (exercise, eating better)
I affirm to do work for these things that I pray for... I give thanks to God for blessing me with a loving family (sisters and father and mom (in heaven)); amazing sponsor; food to eat; clean clothes to wear; a home I can come home to; safe passage to wherever I travel to throughout the day; a job that I am considered a valued employee; loving friends in the recovery rooms; life saving meds that keep me healthy... these are just a few of the blessings that I remember to give thanks for... I remember to want the things I have right now rather than complain about all the things I don't want... I remember that I have everything that I need rather than being upset about all the things I "want."
I ask God to quiet my mind long enough so I may hear the TRUTH of the question of whether I should be waiting for completion of the 12 steps before engaging in certain life activities. Instantly the answer from God is to just trust and have faith and not question but to keep the door open and try my best in staying sober one more day and doing the footwork in moving towards sanity from my alcohol"ISM" which is an acronym for "I Sponsor Myself" or "I, Self, and Me." In essence thinking I can do it rather than asking for God's help, your help and to turn my will and my life over the care of God... So, no don't wait for graduation from anything, just keep an open door policy with God... JUST FOR TODAY.
Greatfully,
Quoc
posted by Quoc @ 10:17 AM E-mail me!
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