Evenin' all... It's getting to that time of the night where I am gonna turn in. I am feeling pretty upbeat but tired. I am ready for bed. This friggin warm weather is driving me nutz!!! I can't stop feeling physically sticky from the sweat that I keep exuding! Ack! Anyway, how did my day go? Well, I wasn't able to access the internet all day! I had problems with loggin' in at work. It's alright; I had plenty to do at work. I took care of some more business and took my dry cleaned trousers home after work. It sucks at these times not to have a car. The honeymoon with the co-workers is kinda over because tomorrow the head honcho of the organization returns from her retreat/conference and will be back in the office with us. She will be delegating plenty of assignments to me. Unfortunately, I got started training with my predecessor and barely know the inner workings of the organization! I am picking a little more at a time. I am thankful for that. So, all I am gonna do is give myself credit for the progress I am making and know that I am putting in all my effort at each blessed moment I am granted. THAT IS ENOUGH! I AM ENOUGH! I went over to therapy today without a hitch. I did almost crap all over myself... I actually kinda did a little... It really frustrates me to have this side effect with life happening around me. What? Am I gonna have to don a diaper to get around things and be ok? Argh! It's indirectly being affected by my current living situation... My eating habits, what I am eating, where and when I am sleeping and what proximity I am to and from work. All and all, things are getting progressively better, but nothing is perfect by any far degree. I can get all b*itchy and complain and all, but that isn't the way to go for me...
I spent some time with my therapist. It was fairly uneventful chat with him. I did get an opportunity to really appreciate all the things that have gone on since I saw him 2 weeks ago! Apparently, I was still at my first temp position, hadn't moved out of the house or anything! Since I have moved out, have another permanent position, getting more acquainted with my new live in environment, saw Mamma Mia, got to experience a bunch of people relapse around me and me managing by the grace of G.O.D. to stay clean and sober through it all!!!
I swung by the Pantages theater to pick up the Mamma Mia CD. The people were at intermission when I went over to buy the CD. I am dying to hear the track again. All I need now are AA batteries for my CD player. Anyway, I am gonna write personal stuff in my journal and turn in for the night. I will shower and brush tomorrow bright and early!
Big lesson I learned today and supported by my therapist is that I have to move into action with doing my 4th step and just step work in general. Without that, chances that I will relapse gradually increase with every day that passes by.
G'nite,
Quoc
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