Quoc's Web Journal

AFRAID TO LOSE WHAT I HAVE...

Quote(s) of the day:

I am afraid to lose what I have... I am afraid I won't get what I want...

What kind of music am I putting to the movies in my life?

I feel like a 4 month old at age 31...


So, those are the quotes I have heard in the past couple days that have resonated with me... No time to check in... I have an incredibly early start to the day. I am gonna be crazy busy for the next week and half... I am proud and excited to say that I am pretty much done with my 8th step... I am waiting for instructions and a meeting with my sponsor to do the 9th step.

I heard a friend in a meeting make an interesting share... He is gorgeous in every respect, has some time in recovery, and just very very hip and one of those people you want around you if you wanna be in a hip crowd. He shared about not having a girlfriend or close friend he can call at 3AM should he need to talk his/her ear off and just share. He shared about having a difficult time letting people in. He shared about needing to take a more proactive approach to letting people in. WOW!!! That is interesting!!! That was such a powerful share because I can totally relate and I have totally had those very sentiments come out of my noggin on more than one occasion. I have to remember how powerful a phone call may be to just check in with someone and not to judge people by their covers and the fascades they put up.

Currently, my phone is notifying me that I am at maximum capacity with holding numbers in the phone... I believe the phone holds about 1000 numbers. That means I have at least 800 numbers in my phone! I feel lucky I do have some people I would feel ok with picking up the phone and calling should I be in trouble and need help! I also feel proud of myself for being able to be vulnerable and let people in and share honestly when I am not ok, but also move into solution with my shares with my support group (fellowship) as well...

Life is not perfect... I felt really disconnected for about 48 hours. Because I took a very very very very proactive approach and faced my fears with courage instead of cowardice, I was able to move into serenity, contentment and a place of satisfaction with where and how I am right now... I am in a place of acceptance and gratitude.

Ok... There is a lot of work that I have to do... All I need to do as my Sponsor so wisely advised me was to do it like I do with my recovery... Take it one day at a time... Just for the rest of today... Not be so concerned about tomorrow... Just for the rest of today...

Yayee... I hope I will have more downtime to write... Cheers to y'all...

Peace,

Quoc

posted by Quoc @ 12:55 AM              E-mail me!