Quoc's Web Journal

"ANOHA" 8o(

... rather it's more like... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"AH""NO""HA"(WAII)!!!! :-(

The time is 11:41P... I am sooo bummed out! Talk about taking a 180 degree jump from total excitement to outright flat disappointment!!! I spoke to my sponsor and some other people and got mixed reviews. I did a list of pros of staying and doing my training and being a good and responsible manager or really treating myself to a really nice vacation that is part of a cool convention.

I made the decision this morning at about 12 noon to cancel my current reservation to Hawaii! 7 day, 6 night stay, flight and 3 star hotel with transportation and greeted with a lei for about $970!!! That is such a great deal!!! I got to fly on AA (American Airlines) at the times I wanted and with window seats; I got the Ohana Waikiki West Hotel that I wanted; I got the dates that I wanted and all for that price!!! CANCELLED with hopes that I would be able to rebook another flight at a later date... I even wrote a check for the registration to Hawaii with a stamped envelope with registration ready to send out today!

As of noon this afternoon, I was told by travelocity it would take about 30 days for the refund of my money to be put in place. I looked on-line to find other deals. Definitely not what the flight I want or the hotel or the dates, but I was willing to just really enjoy a vacation anyway! I was a afraid of going just for going with no company and no convention and new friends to make... The prices were ok... I even found some for less than $900.

After a long, but fruitful day at work, I went and ran some errands and drove home and changed to go work out... I made my phone calls and worked on my defect of being accusatory and blaming and replacing it with accepting, accountable, spirit of generosity, and unaccusing. I worked with my sponsees... I asked for help about working with unwilling sponsees... I changed and exercised from 6:45PM - 8PM and came home... I have been bumming around and napping and watching TV and eating and stalling... I did some budget work and.....

...went on-line to research the trips to Hawaii... They seem to have magically disappeared into thin air! I am learning that there is a system when Airlines and Hotels really find days when they promote really good deals... It's between Monday and Tuesday... The flights alone are over $400... There is but one selection of hotel that charges over $1300 for the stay... I don't get my choice of airlines... OH MY GOODNESS!!!

I stayed sober, but I am soooo bummed out!!! I fear that the deals won't come back in a week... I am not sure if I can wait a week to see if I'll be able to find a great vacation to take on non-profit wages!!! :-( I am sooo bummed!!! I chose to be responsible and right now I feel like I made a poor decision and feel punished and not rewarded for doing something good, responsible and right... Like I said, total 180 degrees from yesterday...

So, just stay in the moment and trust that everything is going to be ok and I will find an amazing trip and vacation that is beyond my wildest dreams... I will feel the feelings and try to stay in the moment and appreciate the fact that I actually have the means to go on a vacation! Sweet!!! This is but the beginning of an amazing adventure in life... I also will trust that my HP has allowed this path to be taken for a greater reason that is beyond my understanding and that whatever transpired today was meant to for the greater good of myself, for others and just for the greater good!

I have my hands full with sponsees... I am very thankful for them... They are keeping me very very busy. I don't know how my sponsor is able to handle so many sponsees. I am starting to understand the reason why I would fire sponsees; my time is very very tight and it really is a dis-service for me to work with sponsees that are not willing to do the work. They ask for help, but when offered suggestion, they don't do it then let me know about the negative consequences that come from not doing the work. I am trying very very very very hard to just stay in the moment and stay in gratitude for the lesson they are teaching me and that I am here to carry the message to another alcoholic and to stay sober, clean and serene one more day. Wish me luck guys...

WHO WANTS TO GO TO HAWAII WITH ME? I DON'T WANNA GO ALONE... LET'S PLAN SOMETHING... LET ME KNOW... I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS!!!

posted by Quoc @ 11:43 PM              E-mail me!