SPIRITUAL WARRIOR OR SPIRITUAL WORRIER?
So, today, I feel like a spiritual warrior... I took the day sleeping, eating, watching TV and sleeping a lot more... I spent time cleaning my bathroom and going to my recovery meeting. I took contrary action and shared. My head has been telling me that I don't really need to share because there are other people who really need to share. Or that I don't really have anything to share and therefore shouldn't be raising my hand to share. I haven't checked in at my homegroup in awhile... I am very glad I did just that...Today, I feel ok with taking a day of R&R. My body is still aching from starting to work out again... I believe I have a pretty serious old injury that needs to be addressed... It is located at my right elbow... As I shared, this problem has always been around especially when I lift medium to heavy objects. I am unable to bend my arm any more than 90 degrees... It is stiff and hurts. I better have a Doctor look at a it and possibly get referred to a specialist.. One step at a time... Let's get the Doctor's appointment first.
I weighed myself today: 147 lbs... Cool! I feel a lot more fit just from the 2 days of exercise I have put in. Yayee! I have been a lot more spiritually fit as a result of having some sponsees to work with... I am also finding the importance of the cumulation of defects of character I get to be mindful of each day.... Today's defect I got to identify was "playing a victim" or being a "pity pot." I get to replace it with feelings of empowerment, competency and knowing that I am NOT helpless. What other ones have I been able to work on in the past week? greed, scorekeeping, sloth, immaturity, arrogance, and dishonesty...
The last one, dishonesty is a biggie... It manifests itself via manipulation, stealing, lying by ommission, not being true to myself... I get to replace this defect and it's manifestations with being honest, authentic, truthful, and being trustworthy... I am still having difficulty and unwilling to give this defect completely over to God. That is ok... Thank goodness my God is loving, compassionate, tolerant, merciful and patient with me. I ask myself to treat myself and others the same way...
What else? Getting some practice with sex and finding my comfort zone and what works for me. Looking forward to possibly planning a trip out to Hawaii for a the aloharoundup convention out there. Continuing to live life on life's terms and graciously accepting the lessons I get to learn from each day lived!
My friend shared today that life is meant to be lived! Experience is the fruit that is born from growth. I also thought of something during his share... If God is to enter my life and occupy that space, I have to have a space available for God to occupy... For example, if I wake up and make the decision to fill my day up with the attitude of misery, challenge, fear, and angst, then these spaces are not available for God to fill with happiness, appreciation for the process of growth, courage, and knowing that everything is ok! So, what I affirm and ask for God's help is for me to keep room open in my life and my attitude and actions for God's will to fill these spaces and and be gentle with myself as I am not accustomed to things that are good and healthy in my life... It will take some getting used to!
Anyway, it's getting late... Sigh.... This is the last long weekend in awhile... It's been lovely!
If you are reading this, e-mail me or just post a note... I would love to know who you are!
Warm regards,
Quoc
posted by Quoc @ 11:54 PM E-mail me!
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