Quoc's Web Journal

FROM HUMAN-DOING TO HUMAN BEING

Happy 2006 all! If you are reading this, you have successfully made it through another year as I have! That in itself is a great blessing; being alive! There are some friends that I have lost in the last year... Steven, Roland, Dalton, Joey, and Mom (Anh) are just a few people that didn't get to bring in the new year. I remember this when I get ungrateful that today, I get another opportunity to seize life and embrace it as if I may not have tomorrow to live! It's been a most challenging year, but I have successfully managed it with service, unity and recovery... I have managed it by asking for help and when offered help by you, graciously accepting it... I have managed it by not choosing to do it alone... I have managed it by staying honest, open-minded and willing. Honest about what I am and willing to stay open-minded to ideas to maintain my assets and also take action in releasing my character defects to my Higher Power. I am thankful for eyes and ears to hear God's will and take action that is in sync with God's will to the best of my ability...

This year I resolve to:
1) not argue for my limitations, instead to take a risk and know that if I fail, I at least tried and have not regrets
2) be honest enough to ask for what I need and be okay with that
3) courage to tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear
4) exercise, eat, meditate and do activities with as much fervor as I do with my recovery program... Exercise to live and not live to exercise!
5) be honest with my partners about my HIV and behave in a manner that I would expect from me if I were the opposing party
6) remember work is not my life
7) not to FEAR - forget everything is all right
8) complete the 12 steps and start working them again!!!
9) take a trip out of California and treat myself to an adventure
10) stay clean and sober one day at a time
11) remember that without growing pains; I won't really relish those moments of joy
12) act on remembering "Thine will and mine be one"
13) remember that God did not bring me this far down the line just to drop me
14) trust that God will bring me a relationship that will fulfill my wildest dreams if I am willing to just let go and work on developing a loving relationship with myself
15) remember that if I settle for less than the best; I am telling God I deserve less than what God thinks I am worthy and deserving of
16) ask what I can do for another person each day; to give love in order to receive love
17) remember the biggest challenge for me is to give to myself without feeling guilt of being selfish; to ask for what I want without feeling guilt that I am taking from another person; to love care and nurture myself without feeling I am not deserving of it because I am stupid, a mistake or anything less than the perfectly beautiful creation of my Higher Power!

Here is a poem a friend wrote me:

This Year...
I will laugh more and worry less...
I will let go instead of holding back...
I will be risky instead of safe...
I will live my life so that there are no regrets...
Wishing you a new year that is filled with all the excitement of living each day to the fullest!

Warm regards to all that I love,

Quoc

posted by Quoc @ 12:44 AM              E-mail me!