Quoc's Web Journal

FEAR = Forget Everything's All Right...

I really like that... I heard that from tonight's recovery speaker. As an addict, I tend to forget that everything's all right at any given moment... I have remembered that everything is all right in the past few days. I am thankful for that... I have been surrounded by people who do not share the same sentiments. I try to be polite and honor what they are feeling. After all, what they are feeling is what they are feeling... I just don't want to be around it too long; for sitting with someone who is negative allows my disease to feed off of that and possibly lead me into wallowing into that pit of being a victim and self-pity and then resentment... I am able to remove myself from that place and shift and stay in the place of gratitude and really blessed by my Higher Power... I am still reeling about Dalton's death and how blessed I am to be alive. I got to wake up this morning, open my eyes, get up, breathe, and choose to live a miserable day or a good one! It's another glorious day! I affirm to stay in the solution just for today...

I read step 10 in the 12x12 last night... It was about doing a daily inventory... In doing so, I felt compelled to call my sponsor and tell on myself. I have not been doing my stepwork for a few weeks. I have been stalling... I know there are 3 sides to the recovery triangle: service, unity and recovery. I have 2 of the sides covered, but the third side has not been covered leading for an open doorway for my disease to enter and attack... I called my sponsor and made the affirmation of working on my stepwork for at least 30 minutes each day...

I affirm to you all and need your continued support, love and reminders to do the following on a daily basis:

1) At least 30 minutes of stepwork daily
2) At least 30 minutes of exercise daily

I will keep it simple to these to goals... Let's start counting for 21 days to form this habit, then 21 more consecutive days to keep the habit... Help keep me in your prayers, thoughts and e-mails to keep this going for 42 days!!! Starting now... It is 11PM. I will do my 30 minutes of stepwork... I won't have time to do my 30 minutes of exercise... Tomorrow will be my first official day doing that!

Wish me luck... Thank you for your support!!!

Quoc

PS - Tomorrow, Tuesday, October 4, 2005 would have been Mom's 62nd birthday... I will celebrate by honoring myself.

posted by Quoc @ 10:52 PM              E-mail me!