JOB INTERVIEW TODAY
I spent a goodly amount of time composing yet another eloquent journal last night only to lose it into cyberspace upon posting the blog! Argh!!! Cool thing is, I was frustrated and upset for about 1-2 minutes. I wrote what I needed to get off my mind and off my chest and sent the message off somewhere into cyberspace. It may have gone on to some other time space reality and some alien species is reading, analyzing and interpretting the REAL meaning behind why this homosapien who calls himself Quoc would write about gratitude for being clean and sober and for sharing the experiences of his life in a day...I really would love to revisit those subject matters again, but alas, this may be an opportunity for me to just write what I need to communicate without all that colorful verbal diarrhea. In a nutshell, I shared about the following:
As of Wed., I am proud to announce I passed my role play with flying colors and am now deemed a genuine and certified HIV Testing Counselor/Prevention Specialist capable of converse with you on the finer points of behaviors that will support reduction of risk of exposure to STDs and HIV!!! Yayee!!!
As of Monday, I received a phone call from the object of my affection telling me he is going into a rehab. facility. It was very challenging for me to bare witness to the progression of the disease... Last Tuesday, his phone call sharing about what's the point in doing recovery if so many people fail at these attempts; then remarking that he may not be an addict after all... Then hearing that he relapsed on Thursday. Then hearing again that he was in the hospital because he overdosed on Saturday. I did cry and was sad and kept in touch with my sponsor. He has been guiding me through this process. I give thanks for the experience. I pray for my friend and hope you do too. He is sooo young.
As of yesterday, Thursday, April 7, 2005, I was called by HR for an interview today, Friday, April 8, 2005 to discuss my qualifications for the Contracts Assistant position at the Main Office. Pray for me folks! Actually, I trust God in taking care of my needs and placing me where I am needed most and where I need to be in this given moment! God can see a way bigger scope of my life; I trust and turn it over to that Power that shines light on the GENUINE TRUTH OF WHO I AM.
Last night I was once again convinced about taking contrary action. I got home from work really tired and feeling motion sickness from the bus ride home. I wanted to stay home and rest; instead I took contrary ACTION and carried my butt to a meeting and honored my cleaning commitment and as a result got to hear a fantastic share from a friend I adore and admire. The cool thing is I don't know the person he was telling stories about prior to his coming into recovery! Wow!!! He is indeed testament of the growth and progress and 180 degree turn around from the truth of who and what we believed we were to the TRUTH OF WHO AND WHAT I REALLY HAVE BEEN, AM, AND ALWAYS WILL BE. The person I know is the person that is loving, caring, willing to help another sober alcoholic on a drop of a dime. This man stepped up to the plate and taught me how to ask for help (literally said the words, "I need help" and had me repeat after him). He is good looking, sharp dresser, a whole lot of fun and just is enjoying the life that recovery has granted him. These TRUTHS about him I identify suggests that I have these same qualities!
Today, I give thanks for such an all around support system... I had a using thought last night walking home from the meeting and paused for no more than 30 seconds before picking up the phone and sharing about it. I took the power out of the alcoholic thought and showed my disease how serious I am about the program and what I am willing to do to stay clean and sober. Progress not perfection! Things get easier with practice!
Thank you God for your patience, tolerance, compassion, mercy and LOVE. Thank you readers and supporters of my on-going life. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life and being a part of my support group. I give thanks today!!! If I wake up feeling like it's a bad day, I can start it over at ANYTIME!!! What's my attitude today? Am I hiding in the shadows of the disease or continuing to walk in the light of my HP? I have that choice today.
Thankfully,
Quoc
posted by Quoc @ 8:19 AM E-mail me!
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