Quoc's Web Journal

OLD CHINESE QUOTE: "NO TIME TO FART"

Yes, "no time to fart." That about puts everything in a nutshell with the status of my life. I have been working mad overtime with my regular work schedule and serving as acting Project Coordinator for the Men's Wellness Centers with AIDS Healthcare Foundation. So, I was pushing over 55 hours/week. I decided to take on another project: entering survey information into the database for our "Stop the Sores" campaign. That will put me over the 60 hour/week mark!!! This is only temporary, but it has been temporary for the past 2 months!!! I really do see an end in sight. Here is the sad thing, because I am working for non-profit, my wages still place me in the low-income to poverty stricken level! Eek!!! I am betting on being of service with hopes that the karma will reciprocate one day, one way, and certainly my way.

I am responding because I have an old time friend named Keith out in Chicago who e-mailed me last week wondering where in the heck I have been and how the heck I am doing. Today, I received a message from my co-worker at the Main Office informing me that Todd called and left his contact information; this is Todd in Arizona!!! Wow!!! You guys really notice when I am not present. Thank you for noticing; thank you for caring; thank you for reaching out and reeling me back in.

I read in the 12-step Big Book that abuse of alcohol and drugs is but a symptom of my insanity. One has to look at causes and conditions after resisting that first drink/drug. For me, it's manifesting in other addictive behavior: work, television, making a mess of my room, sleeping, ad infinitum. The behavior itself may not be unhealthy; as a matter of fact the activities I am doing are very healthy, but only if done in moderation! Remembering that I am an addict of the hopeless variety, I accept that I do have a tendency in taking "any" behavior to extremes! One is too many and a thousand is never enough!

In accepting, I can turn it over to my Higher Power and continue trudging this road to happy destiny. I realize that it took me a bit of time to become the overindulging glutton; it will take time to unlearn/relearn healthier behavior... Progress towards perfection, not instant perfection. I do have tendencies when I do want to microwave my recovery or microwave any process that takes time to achieve.

Alas, I digressed... I just wanted to check in and let y'all know that I am doing okay. I want to take the time to thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I want to thank you for reaching out and staying in touch and reminding the addict in me of the important things in life: relationships with friends, family and loved ones; spiritual, physical, and mental health and really taking time to enjoy the simple things in life... breath of life, blue skies, the scent of freshly baked bread. It is with the love and support of incredible folk like Keith, Josh, Todd and the multitude of people who continue to stay in touch that I continue to live clean and sober one more day!

I have to get back to my work, but I am working on getting a computer at home so I may journalize, place it on disk, then bring it to work to upload onto the internet... I will provide details of all the blessings in my life in the future to come. In the meanwhile, thank you for being blessings in my life. I give thanks for each of you every evening when I pray.

with deepest gratitude,

quoc@quoclam.com

PS - Chin, I am sooo proud of you for accomplishing the amazing feat of running 26.2 miles in 6.5 hours in Honolulu!!!

posted by Quoc @ 9:39 AM              E-mail me!