Quoc's Web Journal

DUCKS CAN'T WALK WITHOUT BOBBING ITS HEAD

Just checking in... Yes I am busy! Yes, life is good... Yes, I am clean and sober for 18 months and 1 day!!! Wahoo!!! I am very very proud of myself. I wasn't feeling like this yesterday, but because I stayed in the moment and I didn't pick up and use any mind altering substance, I GET to experience the emotional high that I am right now. What did I do that changed my feelings? I had mini meetings via the telephone with two wonderful people in the program last night! A youngin' with 7 years in the program and then a separate phone call with someone who is very young at heart but has over 24 years clean and sober! Wow!!!! That is sooo amazing!!! The conversation allowed me to feel not so bad about myself, share about my experiences and also relate to what they were sharing and know that I am not a bad person... Yes, I know, but a lot of times, I don't know that I am not a bad person... Just sick... That is why there is a program that teaches me to work a program that will curb the craving of the body and the obsession of the mind, and the malady of the spirit.

Anyway, I gotta get back to work!!! I feel great in this given moment... I know I still have some self-esteem issues to work with and to continue doing self-nurturing things. What did I do today? I spent $33 on clothes and videotapes and 2 pillows for myself. It was not easy plopping that money down for myself! I would give away $20 or more in an instant to someone in the program that needs it, but I would never think of spending money that will warm my insides up and make me feel loved, cared for and nurtured! I am glad I did it! I am still feeling some guilt for spending money, hard earned money that I deserve to spend on myself! Just not all of it aye?

Ok, really gotta go... I am doing really well!!! Thank you everyone for your continued support, love, thoughts and prayers.... Stay in touch with me, because I may forget to do likewise with you as promptly as both of us would like!

Regards,

Quoc

posted by Quoc @ 1:18 PM              E-mail me!