Quoc's Web Journal

FLASHBACK TO HELL . . .

As usual, no time to write today, but I thought I'd share a correspondence that I wrote to a dear friend yesterday...

Hey Brad,

Thought you'd get a kick out of this... I was chatting with my roomie last night while he was on the computer. I noticed he had aol on his computer. I asked if he would check to see if my old account was still active... It was and guess what was in the profile? A picture of me about 1-2 months prior to coming into recovery!

Boy do I look different from then!!! I looked really good, but I know looking good on the outside really doesn't tell the whole story. The inners of the person in this picture was broken, sad, hopeless, had no self esteem, was suicidal, was willing to give my body to anyone who wanted to use it for their pleasure because I needed validation from other people. I had no self sense of worthiness with myself. I hated me...

Anyway, I weigh a lot more, but my inner being is "spiritually, mentally and emotionally fit." I give thanks for that! All I need do is to work out and exercise and keep a balanced diet and I will ascertain the body I had as well as the inner well-being that I have.

Just thought you'd get a kick out of seeing me from a couple years ago... Oh the memories!!! I am sooo bummed out that I was locked up in a room and totally withdrawn from people despite looking as hot as I did!!! Hahaa... Anyway...

Cheers,

Quoc

PS - It's a picture of me in my Calvins! haha!!! I weighed 120 lbs and had 15 more to lose before I finally went into recovery! I lost that in about another month or so... Thank you crystal meth and my insanity!!!

posted by Quoc @ 9:20 AM              E-mail me!