Quoc's Web Journal

ON THIS DAY, 29 YEARS AGO...

On this day, 29 years ago, a baby boy of a hefty 8.5 lbs was brought into the world. Time and place? In the midst of the Vietnam conflict, Ho Chi Minh City (now Saigon)...

29 years later, this very same boy has developed into a man with about 3 decades of wisdom and experiences and the BLESSED OPPORTUNITY to share about it with others.

What am I going to share? What is happening in this very given moment, because the most important time of my life is RIGHT NOW!!!

I chose to be in a lousy mood last night and stay apathy; what did I hear? If nothing changes, then nothing changes. It would have been very self-nurturing to take a shower; to brush my teeth; to clean up my paper clutter; to pray; to read some of the Big Book or 12 and 12; and to do some more of my fourth step.

What did I do instead? I stayed in bed and went to sleep; I didn't feel like it. I was answering to the whims of that part of myself that is lazy, wants to be depressed, and wanting blessings without due action!!!

I woke up this morning in a different space. I rolled off my bed and was willing to pray and prayed; I went and took a shower; I waxed myself a little bit; I brushed my teeth; I took some time to dress and quaff myself; I listened to Reverend Kristin's most recent spiritual message from this past Sunday's Church service.

It so happened the very message that was being shared gave me the answer to the question of whether I should share it's my birthday today! If it makes me feel good, then YES!!! She answered the question of whether sharing about this would warrant feelings from other people. Oh yeah, I am powerless over changing other people and how they act and feel! They choose to act and feel! Just like I am responsible for doing things that are either healthy or not-so-healthy to my well-being!!! So, what makes me feel good, regardless of how others may respond/react? Yes, share it's my birthday!!!

Reverend Kristin also shared about why we go to church. She shared that she does not speak the word of God, only HER TRUTH and hoping that these very spiritual experiences she is going through may benefit another person who crosses paths with her. Nice...

Answer to the question as to why we go to church? Or why I go to meetings? Or why certain things are done? TO EXPERIENCE GOD. For me, in the rooms of recovery, to experience strength, hope and experience. EXPERIENCE!!! Experience of the TRUTH may not necessarily be congruent with feelings I have in any given moment and feelings may not necessarily be congruent with knowledge and knowledge indeed may not be congruent with TRUTH!!! So, what is TRUTH? All of the above in one package!!!

That must've been a eyeful of confusion for others, but again, why am I doing this? So, I may find the truth in this journey I am taking... In doing this, I will most definitely benefit from another who reads this and share his/her take on it... Or just in doing this, I will see the truth in it myself... In doing this another person may benefit from my experience, but there is no REQUIREMENT or mandate that anything I do benefit anyone else. Just me... The rest is up to my Higher Power!!!

Ok.. I must return to work... I give thanks for my 1st natal birthday celebrated out of a recovery house, transitioning from a sober living hopefully to another home, and clean and sober... I GET TO EXPERIENCE ALL THESE THINGS BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO TURN MY WILL AND MY LIFE OVER TO THE CARE OF MY HIGHER POWER.

Chinese tradition suggests how I live today, will set the model to how I live every day for the rest of the next year!!! So, I choose to move into gratitude, willingness, and open perception.

Thank you LIFE!!!

quoc@quoclam.com

posted by Quoc @ 8:37 AM              E-mail me!