Quoc's Web Journal

GOT A CHEAP SHOT FROM A CO-WORKER! OUCH!

Ouch!!! My co-worker (to whom I HAD a crush on) came into work late this morning; so he was already in a bad mood. He has been going through personal issues too, so I am sure that doesn't help. On top of that, he is running on a short fuse... So, this morning, I was the easiest and only target for him to vent on... He had made a cd for me and various other people; he asked if I listened to it... I said not yet...

Ahem... He responds by saying, "that's typical, people like you are f*cking lame." It took me a moment to actually realize that he took a shot at me. I did not respond. Then he continued, "people send you a card, you read it, same with the cd; not opening it is a way of saying F.U." He went on to share that out of all the people he shared these cds with, that only one individual took the time to listen to it.

I responded: "I did not do that to spite you; that was really offensive." That is all I said. There is a solution; I will be calling my sponsor, I of course don't have my Big Book to read page 449 (on acceptance), and realizing that this was not a direct personal attack. It felt like it, but he is just misdirecting anger. Thankfully, I have done that before and understand the feeling behind that.

So, what do I do? Not take it personally (very hard, I am shaking from anger of that remark at me). I want to just tell everyone in the office about what just occurred; that would be immature. Give thanks that I have progressed and know to cope and handle situations in a civil and health manner for all parties involved, ESPECIALLY ME!!! I would very very much like to "push his face in" (in the words of Reverend Kristin).

Anyway, I am sooo thankful for this remarkable change in response! I shared how I felt, set a boundary and let it go. I want him to apologize, but I am already moving towards owning my part and allowing God deal the results. I am able to relate to what really struck a chord in me and not react and fire artillery back at him!!!

So, move on... Do not rent free emotional space to him. He is hurt, I do not have to be taken hostage by him and feed into this. I also do not have to have the sense of ENTITLEMENT, the doesn't he know who I am; how can he say something like that to sweet ol' me, Quoc!!! Oh yeah, thank you Higher Power; this given incident was not about me. It was about another person who is in a bad mood just misdirect his frustrations and anger at me.

I am doing better in letting it go now, but no I am not perfect; I am still upset at that remark. It was not called for!!! Again, that part of me that is vengeful really wants to return the favor 3 fold, but what would that accomplish... Pray for him and also wish that he finds peace and solution to whatever he is going through. Treat him with kindness and support, WITHOUT sacrificing my own peace of mind and emotional health.

I just needed to vent.

quoc@quoclam.com

posted by Quoc @ 8:54 AM              E-mail me!