Quoc's Web Journal

NOTHING LIKE COMING A BIRTHDAY AT MY HOME GROUP

Evening all... Time is about 15 til 11 PM. I am tired, but feeling really good! I am running off the love and energy that others have offered me; FREE OF CHARGE!!! It started with me really not feeling like going to work. I dragged my butt up and got dressed and left for work. I am thankful to be working in an environment that is just really really laid back from my point of view! All the other jobs that I have had have been extremely intense! This is just like cake! The nice thing is, I still have an avalanche amount to learn and grow from!

So work passed, I was able to do my job to the best of my ability and be ok with that! I met my friend "J" who picked me up from work and took me to dinner with him at a restaurant close to the meeting. Boy, was it a productive dinner! I was able to listen, share and listen a whole lot more to what my friend of 15 years sobriety had to say about where I am... I picked up the notion that I NEED TO WORK THE 12 STEPS WHILE I AM IN THE 12 STEPS OF RECOVERY!!! I also understand why I am feeling the roller-coaster self that I am on a daily basis as a result of being where I am with my step work... Discovering myself.. The next few steps 5-9 is change... I forgot what the first 3 were about. Surrendering perhaps? Admitting? Accepting? Makes sense to me! Anyway, I ended up crying sooo much but at the same token really gormandizing myself on the green curry dish that I ordered! YUM YUM!!

I got to the meeting and rushed myself to make the coffee and set everything up! There were sooo many people there to hug me, congratulate me and just support me! Who all gave me a cake? My friend "A" who baked the cake for me! My friend "J", "J", "M" who helped in giving me my cake for 1 year!!! Wow wee!!! I kept crying and crying... I dunno what I said.. I wasn't very funny. I just shared from the heart... Hopefully I made some sense and gave someone some hope that it can be done, one day at a time!!! It's about the steps, it's about applying the steps, it's about CHANGE!!! That is what the triangle represents too.. Delta = CHANGE = entropy?

Thereafter, fellowshiped with a bunch of the people back at the restaurant near the meeting, then got a ride home back by a fellow addict!

How feel I? VERY HUMBLE; VERY BLESSED; VERY GREATFUL; VERY VERY LOVED...THANKFUL.. Just sober!!! I am being loved especially at a time when I am not capable of loving myself. Apologizing for myself... My friend "J" pointed that out to me again... that I tend to say sorry a lot and for things that I shouldn't be sorry for!

Thank you all for loving me just the way I am and reminding me that I am loved by you all; that convinces me more and more each day that maybe one day, I might be able to love myself just as much as you all do!

Thankfully,

Quoc 370 days clean and sober... Just for today!

posted by Quoc @ 10:44 PM              E-mail me!