Quoc's Web Journal

PRONOIA!!!

No, that is not a spelling error or typo! I really did type "PRONOIA." What is it you ask? Well, it certainly is a made up word, but I strongly push for this word as yet another added entry the the english dictionary. So, paranoia according to Merriam Webster is: "psychosis characterized by systematized delusions of persecution or grandeur usually without hallucinations." Basically, it's thinking and believing that the people are conspiring to kill/harm me. Pronoia is the belief that people are conspiring to help/support/love/ me. What a wonderful concept!!!

Where did I hear that from? Hanging out with a certain English gentleman who is visiting from the UK. It was lovely to be able to spend a little time to just eat and chat...

Other highlights:

1) I heard another really great phrase from a friend who just turned 1 year sober!! I love that guy! I've known him since he was a newcomer! His whole family came to support him... It was quite touching... He shared the following: "IF YOU DO WHAT YOU DID, YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU GOT." I love that phrase! So simple yet it carries a powerful message of if nothing changes, nothing changes!

2) I believe I have officially been dropped like a potato from the really rich guy I was dating... The one that I had that really uncomfortable sexual encounter with. The sucky thing is that he just stopped texting me and returning my phone calls. I took the hint after sending a very assertive and honest message via phone text as well as on voice mail that I really would love to see him again. NOTHING!!! Ouch!!! I was bummed for a couple days and thus this whole sexual revolution thing happening from people suggesting to me to date lots of people and not to get tied down with any one person right now or to place more attention to working out and exercising and of course the solution from the big book which suggests that if I am having problems with sex relations, I should throw myself harder into helping other people... I did that..

Because I have been in sooo much action lately, I have been able to face a lot of fears and overcome them or at least gain more experience as so not to go through something painful again or to adjust something so as to maximize on my experience.. Either way, life is full because I am an active participant in it! The prayer of my Higher Power helping me find balance with my recovery, work, romance, home, finances, personal, friends, family, and fun living life has been coming true and are coming true... God's will complementing my willingness to take action is resulting in growth and experience and wisdom and just not a lot of time to ponder and reflect on life rather than just LIVING THE LIFE THAT I AM BLESSED WITH!

I continue asking for guidance and trust my Higher Power will assist with this.

Regards,

Quoc

posted by Quoc @ 7:30 PM              E-mail me!