Thursday, October 06, 2005

MOM'S FIRST BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN





The above pictures were taken when Mom took the family out to celebrate my 29th birthday a year ago...

Mom got to celebrate her first birthday in heaven on 10/4/05. It would have been her 62nd birthday this year. I guess her birthday in heaven would be June 26, 2005 when she transitioned from this plane of existence aye? Then, under chinese culture, there is that 49 day journey before she passes onto reincarnation... I hope she is having a blast up there in heaven or where ever she is. It's kind of weird wanting to celebrate Mom's birthday when she's has past away...

I remember that bittersweet birthday 3 years ago when Mom and I were not talking because I was mad at her for hitting me; that was because I found the drugs I was using in the house. My addicted self was sooo upset that Mom flushed the drugs down the toilet, good drugs being flushed!!! Anyway, we weren't talking for months. When it came around to her birthday, I bought her a beanie baby sheep and had a neighbor bring it to her... I didn't want her to think that I cared, eventhough I did. Mom called later to apologize so as we could start talking again... I was the one in the wrong and Mom had a big enough heart for the both of us to extend the olive branch that I was not deserving of... I only hope that one day I will be able to extend that kind of unconditional love to someone I love with all my heart but upsets me to the core of my being...

I miss her sooo much!!! I am feeling homesick today and I don't have a home home to go to feel reconnected... I need to find a way to create that connection that I feel is lost when Mom passed away... I am such a Mama's boy and I proudly claim it!!!

A little melancholy,

Quoc

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