Quoc's Web Journal

OH NO... I HAVE BECOME ONE OF THEM!

Oh my gosh... I have gotten to a point this week that I have been exposed to sooo much of the program that I am talking PROGRAM LINGO! Argh!!! I have become one of them cliche, happy, joyous and free, and serene people with a sense of calmness with things that have been going on in the past few days! How is that?

How feel I? Well, working with my sponsee really springs a lot of questions! I have a lot of questions. I feel more like a mentor sharing my experiences and where I am... No, I don't have the answers. I don't dare to expect to have all the answers. I am just a bit upset at the fact that I don't have an answer that will possibly be the seed that will help my sponsee stay clean and sober when he needs that one tool that I neglected to answer the question for.

Number one is the line on page 449. I wasn't able to explain the line of Nothing in God's world happens by mistake. He shared some issues that I was able to relate to and asked if the above statement were true, why would God place him in the path of something that would harm him in such a manner? This is an answer I will have to ask my sponsor, or "J" with 15 years about! The other 2 questions I will have to reserve from divulging because it is private and confidential matters. I am thankful that these kinds of things are presented before me though.

What all happened today? I slept in til really late and got up with visit with another sober member who came by the house to visit with me. Then I went out and spent time with my sponsee from the VNRH. I took him out to lunch at a Thai Restaurant and shopping at a Thrift store. I only hope that I did not overload him with information. I did a whole lot of cliche talk verses sharing my experiences!!! I can't transmit something I don't have. If I haven't personally experienced it, then I should claim exactly that and suggest what I have heard. I am not responsible for anyone's sobriety. I am just a spiritual advisor is what my friend "B" says. I like that!

Anyway, I spent the evening at home. I read some of the Grisham book the Rainmaker. Then a friend came over and visited with me while I did laundry and avoided doing the 4th step! Argh!

Anyway, I feel ok... Tomorrow brings another day! I have had a wonderful weekend being of service and doing a whole lot of work in keeping my spiritual self strong! I just need to continue being patient and loving as I continue on with working my 4th step! To do it God's way and in God's time.

I have been getting people calling me everyday! That is because I have been more than willing to call others everyday! The karma comes back!!! Yayee!!! I am a bit confused about my role in other people's lives when they go through challenges. My friend "B" shared with me that I don't need to be around people that spit venom and I know is toxic to me. It's only when I know it will be of assistance to them and most importantly, will not injure or damage my spiritual and sober foundation.

Lastly, I just realized today that I have been dating a few people... Once here and there, but I have been doing it and have drawn the interest of other people! Wow! How cool is that?! I will continue working on myself and that relationship with loving myself and enjoying my practice with developing friendships with other people. I need only be honest and open about where I am... I want a relationship, but I am in no condition to be in one at this point and time! I want to continue just staying in the moment and trusting God and continue taking care of me...

I am not powerful over changing other people! I cannot change other people. They make the decision to change and act to change themselves! Trust in my Higher Power... Okay.. I am babbling.. It's time to do some stepwork and go beddy-bye!

Quoc@quoclam.com

posted by Quoc @ 9:56 PM              E-mail me!