"COMPLYING VERSES SURRENDERING"
Wow!!! I want what the speaker "A" has tonight!!! His message is powerful! I had the privilege of asking him to speak! He was talking the Big Book BIG TIME!!! I love it!!! He was sharing spirituality! He was sharing about being powerless means that I will pick up that pipe or that drink! I am powerless over my addiction! So, I have to find a power greater than that of that addiction... It's called G.O.D. A Higher Power of MY understanding! He shared sooo many great examples! It's really too bad he had only a limited amount of time to speak!!! I really want to hear more of him speak and when he has more time to speak!!! What a privilege! This guy has been going on circuit speaking in the past weeks! Why? Because he does carry a powerful message!!!So, complying is doing what I need to do to avoid getting in trouble... Surrendering means giving up everything and listening to whatever is being suggested and taking those suggestions and applying them! It works if I work it... NOT, it works if I think it... NOT, it works if I feel it. I have to work it!!!
I loved his share about going to a run-down town, what kind of structures one would find standing: Churches and liquor stores! So, if I don't know that the liquor or mind-altering substance is the very thing that will throw me into oblivion, then that is the path that I am headed down. If I realize that alcoholism and addiction is one of the behavioral acts that I manifest genesis, then I will finally want sobriety, spirituality, and a different way of life!!!
As the Speaker so eloquently put it, he can't give me surrender. He won't give it to me because he won't deny me the journey! The moment when I walk over that threshold into serenity... Peace in my mind and love in my heart... I have to want the surrender...
I heard the guest speaker at our Counselor's meeting at work share about how realizing that I can make the choice to no longer live a certain way; that if I change and do something about whatever doesn't work, that I have the opportunity to make it happen... With either direction though, it doesn't work if I don't work it!
Anyway... I am sooo thankful for the speaker this evening share his message about the 12 steps... The most important part of the message that I missed last time was the part where he shared steps 1-3 shows me how to live with God; steps 4-7 shows me how to live with myself; steps 8 & 9 shows me how to live with others... Then there is step 10 again, how to live with God; step 11 how to live with myself; and step 12 how to live with others... THIS WAY I AM MADE WHOLE; BALANCED; AND IN HARMONY WITH MY SURROUNDINGS...
He shared about the 1,2,3 waltz and then going out afterward... That steps 4-9 are the meat of the program and steps 10, 11, 12 are the maintenance tools.
I spent about one hour working more on my 4th step... After realizing yesterday that I was almost done with the 4th step because I was done with the first 2 columns of my resentment part; I came to realize that there are multiple columns on the other categories of the 4th step. So, either way, the TRUTH is that I am currently IN the process and willing to continue on and move forth!!!
I am proud of myself! I got to work with my sponsee today... I love my sponsee... I love my friend "J" who is out of the hospital and coming back around to the program. I only hope he gets it this time around... All I can do is pray for him and everyone else as well as myself, continue to work the steps to stay clean and sober one day at a time so that I am present to be of service for others and also be present when another is offering their love to me.
Humbly and thankfully,
Quoc@quoclam.com
posted by Quoc @ 11:06 PM E-mail me!
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